Sunday, June 21, 2009

The First Venture into the Boar Woods and Beyond: Smiley's Version

So, we all met up at this tavern, the One Eyed Hag (what a dump), and I was like, guys we should totally go find something more interesting to do than hang out in this town. But everyone was all, no, let's go talk to some random people in the town. So we talked to some guy named Balasar, and some cleric or something. Finally after we spent the night chilling in the boring town, everyone finally listened to me and we headed out north. For some reason we decided to hang out with these two stuffy dwarves -- I don't really know why that happened but whatever. We were kind of walking, until we came upon some huge boars. I mean they were HUGE we are talking FUMONGOUS. Fortunately, I slayed them with my short sword and a few sharp words. After I had dispatched them (with a little bit of Hod's help), Hod skinned them and we kept walking.

We crossed the river and we were attacked by some stupid smelly goblins. One of them even hit me!!! He! hit! me! Twice! The fucker! So I killed all of them, some of them with my amazing powers and others with my brutal violent force. After that we were all "whine whine whine" because Hod had captured one of them (the goblin ran away before I could catch it) and we couldn't speak Goblin in order to interrogate it. So everyone was all "omgz moral dilemma" and I was like "We should just kill it" and they were all "omgz but he's innocent." So we ended up taking the goblin back to town, even though there was pretty much no chance that anyone at town would speak Goblin, but whaaaatever. Fortunately, when we talked to Balasar he just saw the tied up goblin and killed it. That solved that dilemma.

So basically today we went adventuring and I kicked everyone's ass while everyone else sort of stood around and looked pretty. Except Hod. He helped a little.

No comments:

Post a Comment